&&& BRAKE; FUILD.

Tuesday, February 09, 2010

One Thing Two do, Three Words Four You.

The past weekend was quite happening. On friday evening, celebrated my grandaddie's birthday with the maternal relatives, following which we spent the rest of the night and the early hours of the next morn singing our hearts out at Shenton Way's Party World. Reached home at an unfortunate 4am, turned in at 5 after settling the odds and ends and woke up 3 hours later (for work) feeling like shit and tasting a full mouthful of regret. Did full shifts (11am - 10pm) on both Saturday and Sunday so I was really shagged to the max come Sunday night.

Yesterday was my first off-day of the week, and I intended to do some shopping on my own, but ended up getting only 1 dress. Then I decided that it had been a loooooooooong time since I actually enjoyed some cozy light reading so I picked up some fiction at the library and although they were all supposedly bestsellers which meant they were very possibly good reads, none of them brought me beyond the 5th page because my brain + eyes were evil and sleep kept penetrating first. Guess I've been unconsciously buried deep within this thing called Fatigue and I'm really quite tired of some stuff in life. For the record, I need some madness in my life again. I dislike taking things too seriously, I detest giving a definite answer and I'd rather things be ambiguous. That is how I am and that is why I am flawed and that is why to err is human and that is why nobody is perfect and that is why I am like that.

Today, someone prepared a lunchbox for me and he personally delivered it to my workplace. : ) Although t'was a simple humble meal, I really, truly enjoyed it so damn much because I haven't had homecooked meals for more than a month and I appreciate the time and effort that this person has taken to do this for me. It's such a sweet gesture, so thank you. c:

So, working long hours in the retail line has been pretty worthwhile because when the $pay$cheque$ comes rolling in it's very (:D), definitely feels rewarding. Plus the experience and the friends, definitely tongue-tied already, haha. And I got my performance allowance this month so it's kinda motivating.

YI XIAN 11:50 PM

Wednesday, February 03, 2010

A Little Something

with the Nike girls!

My store manager (2nd-in-charge) has really been transferred to Compass point.

Monday was the first day I worked without him around. I felt like an abandoned 2-year-old toddler who'd been left at the childcare centre on the first day of nursery school before her mother headed for work.

No doubt, was quite upset and kept thinking about it but guess what; he called today because t'was his off day and waited 3 hours to have my 5pm lunch with me, which he graciously paid for anyway.

*
"now that I'm gone, there will be nobody to protect you anymore. must take care of yourself ok?"

True; now who is going to walk me to my busstop against the direction of his house and wait for my bus with me after work? Something I'd have to get used to from now on despite how much I don't want to.

: (

I only have one thing to say: Compass point is so damn lucky.

Labels: RSH

YI XIAN 11:50 PM

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Hanging by a thread

Things are getting awkward. Not as if they weren't complicated enough already.

A while back when I was still schooling, I used to wonder if the people we're acquainted with in life are destined to be our life-long friends, or merely hi-bye folks whom we will never cross paths with again. I used to ponder over sensitive issues principally involving people relations and how some friendships are built to last, while others are so fallible. Sure, I was actually so damn confident that after leaving junior college, nobody would really bother to keep in contact with people that he/she has only known for 2-4 years. But the recent spate of events has definitely proved my incipient drift wrong, serving very much to derail my old train of thought.

I'd like to think that I'm a very blessed girl, although there are still a couple of things in life that I can't help but be unhappy about/with. Within the past 2 weeks, I've had many old friends coming over to the store I work at to visit, and although I couldn't talk very much since my lady boss is usually around, I really appreciated/appreciate each and everyone of their presence. Last week, Cherie Rongqi Val & Catherine came down; it felt so good just to hang around and chat about random shizz and laugh over old candid jokes. &this week, Krystal trebled her visit to my store : ) Coco has also visited a couple of times and man, it's really warm to see familiar faces like these c: I'm also very grateful to those who actually waited around to have a meal with me during my breaks albeit my vastly irregular and tentative break timings. Yesterday, Xinzhi and Liewxun came to visit me, after which we lunched @ KFC together. Dinner was @ foodcourt with Weetat and his friend. Both meals were equally enjoyable, albeit the very different type of company, HAHA HAHA HA. So thank you. And finally, to those who visited RSH on my off days.. I'm sorry! My off days are scheduled differently every week =\

Work today really exceeded my expectations. I absofrigginlutely adore working on weekends because the store is 124567898765432 times more alive. Plus, working with Weiwen, Desmond, Ken, Weetat, Jet, Dominic and Jorge is so awesome {no, not because they are boys} because they're funny people with fabulous personalities. Of course it wasn't easy breaking the ice initially because we all come from pretty diverse backgrounds and they all thought I'm some kind of extinct UFO species that went through the integrated programme but now that we're all cool & chummy with one another I earnestly enjoy their company sfm.

Malaysia tomorrow.

This is going to sound stupid but I wish I were a picture.

YI XIAN 11:32 PM

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Gun to my holster

Still prefer things in life to be vague, ambiguous, to have an element of mystery, a lack of fixity and more fluidity.

Today, I had my overgrown emo bangs trimmed! My hairdresser {who changes his hairstyle and colour like every month but still looks absofrigginglutely fabulous forever} was in a superbly awesome mood today and he chatted tons with me, telling me not to accept guys so easily because (almost) all of them are superficial, visual creatures that only hanker after looks before anything else. I asked him if he's like that too and he said he isn't. =\ I think that pretty much sums up how guys are like. He's still awesome though; simply because his smile makes magic come alive. =\

After the haircut, made my way down to Tampines to meet Coco. She really TOWERS over her pet midget that is me in her mighty heels. Dinner @ Cafe Cartel; really brought back memories of our after school adventures. The most pathetic and loseristic one being the time when we thought we were going to be late and cabbed back to TJ from Siglap for our afternoon double Econs and ended up reaching first but got chased out by Mrs Chang right after the class greeted her because we didn't prepare our essay plans. {-.-}

Anyway, on Sunday I brought my cake to RSH to share with the colleagues! Not all of them were there, though, since we work different shifts.

Wee tat : )

Wei Wen bro!

Jet!

Karen Love c:

Jet has been transferred to Parkway and is going to start work there next week :( I can't believe this is happening okay; especially when he just started working here last week. Will definitely miss his (uber lame) jokes and his amiable personality. Karen is leaving at the end of the month to take a break and Queen Lani is leaving due to better job prospects in February too. So now I'm just quite : ( &If my store manager really gets transferred to Compass point, I'm out. So am. I will so quit. He did tell me any transfer of this kind is to be expected and that he can't always be here to look after me butbutbut :( OKAY IKR I should stop behaving like a baby and grow the hell up already.

{ PS I was never made for this thing called commitment. }

YI XIAN 11:59 PM

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Love is not Charity.

For the past few days, during your breaks you would ask me if I needed anything to eat. My reply would always be the same- No. But you still bought me chips and buns every day so that I could eat them on my way home after work.

That night, you gave me chocolates and a card.

You hinted to me that you feel jealous everytime you see him talking to me.

This afternoon, I dreaded going to work because new Adidas stocks were coming in and I knew I'd tear my hair doing them since I'm in charge of Adidas.

But when I reached, you told me you'd done all of them for me- all 5 cartons. You spent the whole morning doing something that wasn't even in your department.

Each time I couldn't find an apparel/footwear and got all panicky, you came to my rescue and searched high&low for the wanted item for me, even though you're newer and more foreign to this store than I am.

What am I supposed to say? I know I'm supposed to feel something, but I don't. I don't really want to live on your charity anymore. It makes me feel worse about myself, worse about hurting someone I never wanted to hurt. I know I hurt you very badly that night. But each time I give you my answer, somehow I hurt a little too. You're persistent, but I'll make sure I'm more persistent. I don't deserve so much from you.

YI XIAN 11:56 PM

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

9-teen

So every year, the birthday celebration just keeps getting better. So far every experience is following a positive gradient; it's just I don't know when it'll reach a maximum point and then spiral downwards and mimic the shape of a sad-smiley quadratic curve. Or maybe it will decide to take after an exponential {if i remember correctly} curve and tend towards a random horizontal asymptote. See, I'm secretly math material. I know right, kill me already. BUT ANYWAYYYYYY this is my last 'teen' year. And I am upset about it. Somehow I never wanted the 23rd of January 2010 to come and my family members noticed that because for the first time in my life I didn't ask for my birthday presents 5 months before the actual day. =\

Okay so after work on Friday, was surprised by 2 separate individuals, after which the second sent me home. Thank you ******! I wasn't prepared for the surprise at all, neither did I anticipate/expect anything! Although t'was awkward, I still appreciate the very cute gesture. : )

Saturday was great; thank you to all who took the time off to come to my party! I know I wasn't exactly the best host in the world because I get all flustered and rnfhweuirhfnuwerkhfj easily when there're many people around but I still hope everyone enjoyed his/herself. Need to also thank my dearest parents for helping to organise the stuff and entertaining my guests : D Damnit now everyone knows where I got the insanity from.

Sunday was spent @ Royal Sporting House, and I was really tired but my colleagues were really good to me. Ken & Desmond helped me so much (that I actually felt bad about it) because I'm really short and useless and cannot reach the shoeboxes that are placed on the higher shelves in the storeroom. I know that's where a ladder comes in, but I'm terrified of using the ladder.

I absolutely love my classmates

and it's scary how the last few to leave were all the members from my PW group. We just have this psychic thing about us.

I love this girl because she knows I am secretly Mr Bean.

And here's to the bestie& her beau for coming, and for getting me panties that are meant for 12-year-old girls.

this is why we will never grow up or look glamourous.

this is aida trying to look taller than me

and knowing she can't because I cheated. I love the handpainted batman-themed shoes. You cute thoughtful little thing Aida!

and this is me being retarded with the top student and the girl who always gives birth while she is taking photos.

Thank you girls, I really like the earphones : )

this was taken without flash because zuoqi's eyes are allergic to flash.

TBB! A pity Charlene couldn't make it =\ Anyway I love yall for making my life awesome in 2009. When we grow up, we wanna be childish, have eberything the same as our friend.

The quirky shades is one of the best things that happened to me this year. My friends are as cool as me. I love the presents, girls. Super creative haha!

thank you so much for the pink mp3. Pink makes my world go round.

But I'm jealous that Krystal has 4 men on her top.

LMAO girl and the girl whose foot I stepped on until it bled(3 years ago). Thank you for the pink + black slippers and the cards. EVOL {hahaha}

Catered food !

My cakey cake cupcake cake.

cakes*

I is happy girl girl.

\
I love my family.

this toy was given to me on my 19th birthday.

I do housework on my birthday.

lovely cousins + aunty jocylin

Thank you, everyone.

I'm finally 19. But it feels like I just turned 9.

Thank you all, I am a very blessed girl.

YI XIAN 12:45 AM

Sunday, January 17, 2010

One Less Lonely Girl

I still love you kim ki bum.

Work was actually awesome over the weekend. Was literally swept off my feet by the endless crowd and there were times when I had to serve 3 different customers simultaneously which made me almost tear my hair but my colleagues never ~~failed~~ fail to come to my rescue. Met 3 more permanent part-timers yesterday- Ken, Wei Wen and Desmond who all happen to be around my age. &albeit forever joking around and laughing at me they always offer to help the noob that is me. Which makes me feel more like a sinner day by day.

ANYWAY I GET MY WEEKEND RATE SO I FEEL SLIGHTLY BETTER ABOUT DEVOTING MY PRECIOUS SATURDAY AND SUNDAY TO WORK. AND I SAW 3 of my OGMS over the weekend- Zikai Brenda and Shinyee- who all didn't see me because I'm too short to be seen anyway. Surprise surprise. But Jeremy and Terence saw me first today though, so I don't fail that much after all although I was in quite a massively tragic state when they caught sight of me.

I'm growing to like my job very much, although the hours are long, the job demands are maneating enough to blow me away and I get home with sore and worn out legs every day. But the fabulous colleagues, the not-bad pay, the exposure I gain to the different brands and models of shoes & apparel plus the satisfying overall experience all make the time and effort worthwhile.

OFF TMR c:

YI XIAN 11:57 PM